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Funny Beer Quotes | Classic Beer Quotes | Historical Beer Quotes
"Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer",
Arnold Schwarzenegger, 1975
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.",
Dave Barry
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.",
Dave Barry
"People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.",
Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
"If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.",
Deep Thought, Jack Handy
"I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer",
Homer Simpson
“Alcohol, the cause of and the solution to all of life's problems”,
Homer Simpson
“Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!”,
Homer Simpson
"May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.",
Old Irish Toast
"He was a wise man who invented beer",
Plato
"Beer is proof that God loves us, and wants us to be happy",
Benjamin Franklin
"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her",
W.C. Fields
"They who drink beer will think beer.",
Washington Irving
"A long time ago, way back in history
When all there was to drink was nothing but cups of tea
Along came a man by the name of Charlie Mopps
And he invented a wonderful drink and he made it out of hopps...",
Drinking song, "Beer, Beer, Beer"
"Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.",
Don Marquis
"bread, meat, green vegetables and zythos (beer)",
Greek writer Sophocles’ (450 BC) suggested diet
"We could not take time for further search or consideration; our victuals being much spent, especially our beer",
Christopher Columbus' journal entry dated December 19, 1620
“To drink, the Teutons have a horrible brew fermented from barley or wheat, a brew which has only a very far removed similarity to wine”,
Tacitus
"Make sure that the beer - four pints a week - goes to the troops under fire before any of the parties in the rear get a drop.",
Winston Churchill to his Secretary of War, 1944
"An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger, or a beer.",
Confucius
"Champagnes of the north",
Napoleon’s army praising foamy wheat beers
"Ninkasi, you are the one who bakes the bappir in the big oven,
Puts in order the piles of hulled grains,
You are the one who waters the malt set on the ground...
You are the one who holds with both hands the great sweet wort...
Ninkasi, you are the one who pours out the filtered beer of the collector vat,
It is [like] the onrush of Tigris and Euphrates",
A 3900 year old Samarian poem honoring the patron goddess of brewing, Ninkasi.
"If one intends to make beer from oats, it is prepared with hops",
Abbess Hildegard of Bingen (the oldest surviving written record of the use of hops in beer is in 1067)
"....satisfy his spirit with beef and fowl, bread and beer",
An old Egyptian tomb
"beer was the driving force that led nomadic mankind into village life...It was this appetite for beer-making material that led to crop cultivation, permanent settlement and agriculture.",
Alan Eames
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